new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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