I love black thongs
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
