I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
