Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
