So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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