bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
