throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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