They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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