Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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