But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There's always time for handjobs
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
