i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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