you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I am mentally ready for anal.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
