The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
