Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
