So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Holy sore nipples Batman
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
