Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
