Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
