just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize