Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
