I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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