True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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