I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize