Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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