marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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