stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
