He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
