its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
