You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
