last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
