Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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