He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize