the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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