So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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