Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
