I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
