Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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