U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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