yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
