The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
