Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
