i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
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