I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
