Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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