Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
