So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
i think i just lost a toe
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
