nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
