What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
My dick has a subreddit
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
