Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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