Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
