Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
operation harelip BJ is a go
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
