just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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