It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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