I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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