Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I woke up under a house in Key West
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
