Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
