I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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