I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize