I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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