He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
