i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
