Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
