she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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