You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize