In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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