I hope mine doesn't look like that
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
