Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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