she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize