why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Terrible idea I love it
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize