I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just want nice things and good sex
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
