I only kidnapped one of them. chill
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize