...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Randomize
