imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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