you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
